"let your conversation be..."

why is it that so often we let out the worst of ourselves and cause pain to others? why can we not just control ourselves better, be nicer, kinder, considerate and think beyond our own self-centered desires?

i hurt my husband today, with words - again - and, actions. seems i do that a lot. at least to me it does. i've done it to many i love and at the time i guess i'm just thinking "if....you'd done that, or said this, or just thought, ...then....." when in reality i'm the one who should not have... "done that or said this or just thought" and then put voice and action to my thoughts.

once words are out they cannot be taken back, regardless of the apologies or thoughtful, kind, loving words after. the resulting emotion(s) are not easily discarded. they can hurt for moments, hours, days, and sometimes years. i've known this from first hand experience; both from being on the speaking and hearing side of conversations and in the doing and seeing of various behavior.

i know God has addressed this problem - more than once - through His word. we are to exhort, encourage, edify, lift up, bless, and other various profitable communicative ways - yet we so often do the opposite. I know he addresses this as well - that evil is there to do that which i do not want to do - and i'm sorry for the many times i've failed and allowed that evil to flow from either my words, actions, inaction, or however else i may have succombed.

for those i've hurt, i'm sorry. God, my husband, my children, my extended family, friends, acquaintances, and those i may have just been rude to who i've come across; forgive me - and pray that i'll do better, that i will choose God's Spirit over the desires of the flesh.