30 days of lists: day 13 - DIY i want to try

thinking, thinking, thinking...

*i've been wanting to make a quilt. i have a general idea, but... I bought some fabric squares in Bozeman, MT when we went to Yellowstone National Park in 2009 that i really liked and want something made from them.

*want to get caught up and back into a regular habit of scrapbooking. i'm years behind.

*bought some old windows and want to mount photos or paint on each of the glass sections.

*i've made a few jewelry pieces and would like to do more

*writing more: journaling, poems, etc

*complete an old sewing project from decades ago

30 days of lists: day 12 - weekly rituals

ok, i have some weekly "habits" per se

*television shows: NCIS, NCIS LA, White Collar, The Mentalist are pretty much set. Blue Bloods & Fairly Legal are also creeping in there.

*wednesday's i meet with a couple other women and share prayer requests, have fellowship and we're reading through and discussing the book, "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere

*1st and 3rd thursdays (through the school year) i'm dong volunteer reading for students in kindergarten

*every 4 weeks i have some medical stuff that goes on

*pretty much read every night of every week

30 days of lists: day 11 - date night ideas

wow...what do i want to do?

me and my husband:

*take a road trip to a touristy kind of place like when we went to fells pt, md or charleston, sc

*scenic drives and stopping to take pics during it (the blue ridge parkway is great, but a distance away, so that part one would have to be a weekend kinda thing)

*attend another josh turner concert!! (we went in october and it was great!)

*drive around and find a place to do some "picking" like on the tv show "american pickers" -- looking for cool, old stuff that doesn't cost too much

*going to a decent movie and enjoying it with popcorn, a drink, and some milkduds

*dinner out at a nice restaurant and having flowers delivered to the table from him as a surprise

*a picnic lunch at a local park/lake (did this once and we took grilled hotdogs, chips, and rootbeer)

*go in a store that sells greeting cards and pick one out for each other and show it to the other (the thought really does count for something :)


dates with girlfriends/others

*lunch at a true tearoom (the kind with scones, finger sandwiches, etc. the one near me closed up :-(

*bookstore shopping spree

*starbucks and just hanging out talking

*get together for movies/dvds etc and laugh a lot

*scrapbook/card making night

*take a class on learning/doing quilting together


dates with my kids and/or their spouses (they're all adults)

*christmas/bday shopping trips

*time together looking through old photos, memorabilia

*movies

*shopping for clothes with my daughter (she can help me put things together - i don't usually like to shop for clothes)

*going out to eat together


looking forward to this one day...grandchild/grandchildren

*shopping--(toys, toys, toys and books, books, books, and clothes, clothes, clothes or whatever :-) just having fun letting him/her shop)

*ice cream night

*playing games

*hanging out, watching movies, etc

*craft projects


for "me alone" time

*perhaps an art class of some kind

*thrift shopping

30 days of lists: day 10

i'm coming in on this late, but jumping in now to participate in 30 days of lists: no fancy pics or anything yet, mainly cuz i don't readily know how to do all that.

*shelf/cab for our kitchen for near the back door (for appliances, etc)

*a tv stand that will hold the vcr as well as my cm photo albums

*a dresser for our bedroom closet

*a frame for my water+trees print

*chair cushions for kitchen chairs

*different kitchen table and chairs

*?open bookshelf or counter, etc for studio

*repairs/upgrades in our home (or a new home?)

success and faithfulness

i read a quote recently during my devotional that was attributed to Mother Teresa. "I do not pray for success. I pray for faithfulness."

this strikes me as a worthy goal as a christian. i believe that the devotional i was reading at the time was relating to financial success. i believe it goes further than that and can be applied in other ways.

i find myself wishing to be successful in my relationships, eating, exercise, self discipline, financial goals, housing, employment and on and on. there are so many challenges that call to me, whether self imposed or through the endless litany of media outlets and others (even friends at times) that promote "good looks", "nice" cars or homes, the "perfect" job, having the "right" amount in our bank accounts, and on and on it goes. now the thought occurs that regardless of what i'm facing, if i am faithful to God i am a success. wierd how that works. striving for one (faithfulness) and attaining them both.

however, some would consider a particular goal a "success" regardless of if God is in it. (i.e. if i have $$$ saved for retirement, then i've been successful, if i get this degree in college, then i'm successful, if i get married and have x number of children, i'm successful.) how about we turn that around to, "if i do as God directs then [fill in blank] will be as God has deemed and that is success for he alone knows what is coming."

i find i cannot have true success without faithfulness for that in itself is success.

now...may i remain faithful, realizing it is only through Him that i can,

"Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy" Jude 1:24

"...and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

a plants' life and more

I have a Christmas cactus that had sat in the addition of our home for roughly two years; most of that time it seems it was neglected. I seldom watered it, and though I don't know a lot about plants, this one seldom had sunlight, and I'm certain it needed some. It was droopy :-(

A few months or so back, I moved the plant to our bathroom. I try to open the blinds daily to allow sunlight for it and have watered it on a fairly consistent basis.

Today I noticed new sprouts or buds on the plant! Now some of you may think, "Well, of course, that's what a tended plant will do." or something to that effect; and, you're right. But thoughts that came just a tad later seemed to speak even louder.

Our lives can be looked at like that plant. If our spiritual needs are neglected we will wither. We will be droopy. However, if we gain regular nutrition, son light, watering, etc. we will sprout, grow, blossom, and flourish. (nutrition can be obtained through His word, the Holy Spirit, & other believers)

Many years ago, it seemed the LORD spoke directly to me as I questioned him. I've struggled with depression a lot of my adult life, and looking back probably dealt with it as a child and teen but didn't realize it. His answer seemed to be the following. I pray it blesses you. It's a reminder to me that He is at work, that He has a plan for me, though often I've questioned. I don't currently have a title for it, but please, if you post or copy it, etc, please do so For His Glory (1 Cor 10:31)

"I'LL SPRINKLE you like the dew--
refresh you, cool you, and yes prune you.

You will blossom to a fruitful bush and
many will eat of you.

You will be a blessing to others and will
feed and nurture them.

Only prepare yourself a good soil, that your
roots may be strong.

Be patient, a strong tree takes time,
but persist to be nurtured,

Endure the pruning for soon comes
forth the fruit.

BE STILL and KNOW that I am GOD"

FHG/bkm c1996-1997

I hope the Christmas cactus eventually has some beautiful flowers; but for now at least it appears to be recuperating a bit. How much more so do you think God delights when we sprout? :-)

watching out for identity disorders

well, months have come and gone, and although i'm not sure of what to post, i feel it necessary to at least say something. so here goes...

life is seldom what we want it to be, or at least seem to THINK we want it to be, at least for a time. it's all about what God wants it to be. albeit, if we're totally sold out to God we would be all about wanting what God wants and thus it would be about what we want it to be, wouldn't it? (is this a conundrum? though i'm not sure that word would truly apply here.)

you'd think that as a christian i'd have learned this, and i have, but it seems to me that it's taken an extensive amount of time to surrender to it, though i do believe it's something we must do daily, even as often as moment by moment or opportunity by opportunity. we need to surrender in more than an intellectual way or perhpas it's merely a more total surrender. you know, you give this and then this and then this until you've finally surrendered it all. perhaps we've surrendered only to "escape" from the surrendering (i.e. we've snatched "it" (whatever that may be for us individually) and then need to surrender again. hopefully, with surrendering comes the realization that it truly is "all about Him". i'd venture to say this would run along the lines of what was discussed with the struggle between the spirit and the flesh. in our spirit we know it's all about God's plan and he knows best, but our fleshly, human side (with all of its emotions and thoughts, etc) want what we want; and we generally seem to "want it now".

so...in recognizing it's all about Him and his will, do i matter? i mean, He has a plan so do i really need to be here? am i needed for his plan? if not, i guess he'd take me out. i heard something to that effect quite a number of years ago. if salvation were God's only goal for me then he would take me out of here (i.e. eartly living) as soon as i received it. the fact that i'm alive, still here on the earth must mean there's a purpose for it to be so.

the thing is, the trouble i have, is figuring out where i fit into this plan. as a mom whose children have all flown from the nest in far distances, i question where do i fit? "mom" was a role that consumed a huge part of me and with their leaving i find myself wondering. i recently tried to explain this to my husband as i mentioned his working somewhere for 30 years and then being unemployed by the company. granted, i still have a role as "mom" but it's vastly different.

also, my mom passed away last summer and i've had very little (no verbal) contact with my father for over 5 years so my role as a "daughter" has also changed dramatically.

as a "sister" in a family of seven, i rarely receive contact from siblings living in other states and in fact, during the time of my mom's passing and since, many of those relationships became estranged; this carries on to the role of "aunt" as well.

as a "believer" i've been in three different churches/fellowships during the past three years as my husband and i seek where God would have us and still can"t seem to "fit in". prior to this we were members of a church for approx 16 years and have had many acquaintances but very few good friends.

i often think "it must be me". "i don't fit". some of this is my problem, some, perhaps, the actions/behaviors of others. the truth is that if it's only me and God that should be sufficient. however, my emotions don't often seem to line up with that.

so...to sum it up; my roles do not make my identity though they seem to give me a sense, or lack thereof, of worth. this is not to say that they should, but that we often derive feelings of worth from what we do or who we are in the human sense and how people respond or don't respond to us. in actuality the goal, i believe, would be to believe what God says. i am his, i am precious in his sight, he will sing and dance over me, he rejoices in me, he will discipline me (because he loves me) and so on.

hope i didn't totally rattle off and lose any of you...i was having trouble getting these thoughts out, and i'm really not whining, just trying to process. signing off 8/24/10.